On August 31st of 2007, I shot my very first wedding. I shot it as a favor for the mother of the bride. The bride didn’t think they needed photos, but her mom felt like they might regret that. I shot the wedding as well as I could and in return they handed me a couple hundred dollars in an envelope, despite my protests. After that, I bravely and stupidly dove headfirst into wedding photography. I loved it. I liked sneaking around capturing little moments that nobody noticed. I loved directing couples into poses. I loved the whimsy and adrenaline of the day. There’s so much about weddings that create a palpable feeling of beautiful anticipation. It’s not just about the love. Although the love in and of itself is pretty addictive. It’s also really beautiful being around people who have high hopes and who are looking to the future with rose colored glasses. I love sitting at a wedding and picturing the couple sitting on a porch at 80, holding hands and remembering their first dance. Maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic, but I can’t get enough of it. In the last decade I’ve learned a lot so today I’d love to share some of my wedding photography memories and experiences with you. I’ll try to spice it up by including some images from the archives.

I have been blessed. Blessed with plenty of business and blessed with awesome customers. I feel like my job is surreal in so many ways. I get invited to weddings and make new friends… and I get to take some photos along the way. It’s defintiely work, but it doesn’t feel like a chore.

One of the most common things I’m asked when someone finds out I’m a wedding photographer is about “the drama”. “Wow, you shoot weddings? I bet you see a lot of crazy stuff, huh?” Actually… no. Honestly, no. Since that’s often the first thing I’m asked I’ve decided that the first thing I’d love to say here is a word in defense of brides everywhere. In 10 years and 200 weddings, I’ve never met a “bridezilla”. I’m pretty sure that’s something that was made up for TV ratings. In my opinion, they are mythical creatures. In my experience, most brides are super chill. One of the most chill brides in my memory was Allie. She didn’t even bat an eye when her flower girl slipped and tripped in a fountain while we were taking pictures. Cool as a cucumber.

In my time as a wedding photographer, I’ve seen wedding photo fads come and go. Early on it was selective color and heavy vignettes. Then it was “airy” overexposed images. Now the new hot trend is underexposed images with a lot of heavy greens and grain. Through all of that, I’ve tried to stay very consistent with my classic, natural, vibrant style. I participated a little in the first two years, as I was learning how to edit but gave up quickly on the “fancy stuff”. Even though I’ve been able to maintain that stylistic consistency, I’ve learned SO much about light, people, gear, off camera lighting, giving direction, leadership, and sometimes looking back at older photos makes me cringe. I see editing mistakes, lighting problems, loads of blown out highlights, and I just wish I could go back and have a do over. Whenever I do that, I hope and pray that the couple still loves their images, despite my inexperience and ignorance at the time. I try to remind myself that the early couples didn’t pay what my current couples pay and that helps soothe my conscience a bit.

A huge advantage to having a very lightly edited photography style is that I don’t have to spend hours and hours editing. You know what that means? My customers get their images back faster than they probably would from other photographers. I had a friend who didn’t see a single image from her wedding until her first anniversary because the photographer had such a heavily edited style. Ain’t nobody got time for that! I’m particularly thankful for two men from a church I used to attend: Gary and Jim. They were both seasoned photographers who held little seminars at church for interested amateurs. They helped me to learn to shoot well on the spot so that I didn’t have to try to fix photos later on the computer. I’m also thankful for Gary Neiter (a local photography legend) who allowed me to audit his class at Grace and who helped to give me confidence when I needed it. I wouldn’t be where I am today without those three people letting me pick their brain and ask the dumb obvious questions.

Sometimes I worry that because I haven’t ever changed my style that the wedding photography world will pass me by. However, I have found a small group of purists in a couple little corners of the internet and I feel like they are the photographers that are here to stay. I treasure the groups I’m in on Facebook where I can find like-minded people. Sadly, the wedding photo world can be a lonely place. Finding community among other photographers has been tricky. The competitive nature of photography can make it hard to find camaraderie. I get it. We’re all vying for the same weddings. Thank goodness, again, for the internet! I can chat with photographers in other states or even countries and they don’t feel threatened by me. It’s given me confidence and encouraged me to know that staying true to myself is the best thing I can do for my business. I’ll still stick with what I love to see instead of chasing trends. That’s just not what I’m about. I love simple classic beauty and I think those images will stand the test of time.

As I’ve learned and grown as a photographer, I find myself fearing I’ve grown more formulaic and less creative. I know that some of that is simply my own harsh judgment of myself. I am by far my toughest critic. I think some of that fear and insecurity that I’m not as creative as I used to be is simply because I’ve found what works and I know I can deliver what couples want. While weddings may feel a little old hat or routine to me, I have to remember that it’s brand new for the two people standing in front of me. The important part of the process is that the couple in front of me feels cared for. So much of photography for me now is not about looks, but about how my customers feel about the experience. In a way, I believe I’m selling service more often than photos. That understanding was slow to come but absolutely revolutionary for me.

The biggest regret I have about the last decade is waiting so long to start using off camera flash. I was first and foremost afraid that it would be hard. Then I fretted and worried so much that it would change my style drastically and cause people not to like me anymore. It was so silly. It’s actually done three very important things for me: 1. made my life MUCH easier 2. opened me up creatively to so many new possibilities and 3. taken my photos to a completely new level with color, clarity, and control. I LOVE it. Outside I can outsmart the sun. Inside I never have to worry about a poorly lit reception hall. It’s the best!

Weddings wouldn’t be nearly as much fun without good people by my side. I owe a huge debt to Allison, Stephanie, Emily 1, Emily 2, David, and Ashley who have all worked with me as assistants. They’ve sacrificed Saturdays for me when they could have been having fun doing their own thing, they let me chose the music in the car, let me complain about my achy feet on the ride home, they’ve been hit on my groomsmen, and hugged by drunk uncles. Allison, in particular, has put up with a lot for me. She once drove me home after I was accidentally given MSG at a reception and she had to pull over a couple times for me to get out (in the rain) to vomit on the side of the highway. THAT is loyalty!

I once shot a wedding on my birthday and I had a BLAST! That one always stands out in my memory as a great day. I think of this couple every year when my birthday rolls around.

I’m open about the fact that I personally cut corners on my own wedding photography and I regret it. I wish I’d had a much smaller more intimate wedding and spent less on food and decorations and more on photos. I sadly often hear that same story from couples I know. One of the hardest things for me is when I’m turned down as a photographer for a wedding due to cost and then later the couple admits to me that they didn’t like the photographer they ended up hiring. That’s hard. I know that I personally wouldn’t have been able to afford my own services when I got married. That’s why some of my favorite weddings have been elopements or very tiny weddings. I feel like a huge priority to the couple in those situations and it helps to motivate me to do well.

I worry sometimes about aging out of the business. Most wedding photographers I know are younger than I am. It is a physically demanding job, but I don’t worry about my body. I worry that young couples will only want to hire a young photographer. This year though I’ve had several couples that are my age and I have to admit they’ve been a huge breath of fresh air and an encouragement that I have more time left in me. I believe my wisdom and experience can trump the cool factor with couples who really want quality images of their day.

Weddings are about love, but they can also be a painful reminder of loss. Compassionately navigating recent deaths of grandparents and the impending loss of loved ones to age or disease has become second nature to me. I realized very early on that wedding photography deeply touches generations. I go to almost every wedding knowing that I may be photographing a beloved family member for the very last time and I try to honor that. Many photos I’ve shot have ended up being printed and framed for a funeral. That’s both hard and a HUGE honor. It’s a task I definitely don’t take lightly. It’s something I witnessed many times, but it eventually became deeply personal for me. I could never have imagined this quick snapshot in a hallway at my cousin Michele’s wedding would be one of the last times my Uncle Mike (far right) would see my mom and her siblings all together. It’s not a perfect photo by any means, (curse you, pot lighting!) but I’m so glad I forced them to stand and pose together, despite many protests.

Another thing I’ve been reflecting on recently is divorce. The 10th anniversary of the start of my business is a little awkward because that first couple I photographed is no longer together. I’m still friends with the bride on facebook and I worry that posts like this one will pop up in her feed and make her feel badly or weird or… whatever. I just worry. Divorce is something that I’ve grown more used to as I’ve done more weddings, but it’s never fun. I occasionally notice, usually through Facebook, that a couple I served has split up. Those splits either make total sense to me and don’t surprise me much OR they shock me to my very core. There’s no middle ground. My reactions are completely black and white. I always quickly make a mental note of the split and rush to remove any images of that couple from my promotional material, because I don’t want to remind either of them of something that might be a painful memory for them. Every darn time I selfishly worry that because I was a part of their first marriage they won’t want to be my friend anymore. Dumb, I know. It’s not about me. But I sometimes fight an urge to reach out and say something like, “I get it. These things don’t always work. Sometimes things don’t go as planned. I still want love and happiness for you and I hope you find it. We can still be friends.”

Above all, I have loved and enjoyed this journey more than I can adequately express. I am grateful to all the couples who have allowed me to document such precious memories for them. Perhaps most grateful for those who believed in me when I was inexperienced and untested. Your faith in me is touching and helped to motivate me through the last ten years. Cheers!